This post has been a LONG time coming, but I want to put this disclaimer up front that it is not aimed at anyone I am related to, nor whom I know personally. With that said, here we go...
People are always asking me if I like New Jersey and living here and unfortunately after almost four years of it, I have to say my answer is a resounding no. I didn't mind it for the first year or two, mainly because I still had enough personal reserve of patience and respect for my fellow human beings, but that has long since been beaten out of me living up here...literally and figuratively.
It seems to me that most people up here have no concern what-so-ever for another human being. Everyday I see new levels of rudeness and disrespect. The first place I noticed it was one of the local grovery stores in our town. Any time I had to go in there, no matter the time or day of the week, I suddenly became invisible to the other shoppers in there. They didn't care how many times I said, "Excuse me." to try to get by them or around them. And I can't even remember how many times I had one of them knock into me with their cart or reach in front of my face to get something off of the shelf instead of them politely asking me to move. I flat out refuse to go in that store unless it is for a quick grab of one or two items and even then I hate.
I'm from the land where people greet each other they work with and heck, even perfect strangers on the street with a "Good morning." or at the very least a smile and a nod. I have been working at the same place for over two years now and only a Russian lady, who isn't even a part of my department, has ever said anything to me without me having to say something first. And she thought I was Russian too, which might have been why she started doing it. People walk around here looking straight through each other on a daily basis and the ones in my work group are some of the worst offenders. They look right into your eyes and walk right past you without saying a word.
I think when I finally reached the end of my rope was when I was pregnant. I literally got shoved to the ground one day trying to walk through a door at the bus station that I was already halfway through when one of the wonderful citizens of this area decided she and her friend, who were both pulling large suitcases, needed to go through that exact same door and that I should have backed out of it and held it for them. As I tried to finish coming through the door I got her forearm thrown at me and thankfully fell on my hands and mostly on my knees. The only thing I could think to do was call her a choice name since I couldn't fight back and face losing my child. All of this took place right in front of a police office who didn't bat an eye to try to help me up or say a word.
It only got worse the bigger my belly got. I don't know how many times I had to stand on a bus or subway while people who obviously weren't pregnant, nor disabled rushed to shove me out of the way and get a seat. I think I only remember one time that someone actually offered me their seat. And the sad thing is I see this happen everyday to other women who are either pregnant or carrying a child or someone who is elderly or disabled and needs to sit. It always comes to a shock to me now when I see someone hold a door, offer up their seat or do anything else that is slightly polite.
Not too long ago, I was standing and waiting for the bus when this woman who is usually on there with me everyday and runs her mouth the whole time, saw one of her friends and instead of her losing her place in the line and going behind me to meet her friend, she turns and looks at her friend and tells her, "She won't mind if you come up here.", then turning to me says, "Will you." Not, "Would you mind if she comes up here?", but getting told that I don't mind it.
And the list goes on and on and on. Now I know some people who are natives of New Jersey think that the whole issue is people who are from New York who have moved into New Jersey and therefore made it an impolite society. To that I say, BS!!! I know several natives who are some of the biggest jerks and don't even realize it because they think other people are the problem.
So on that note, I'll close this rant by saying that I am way past the point of not liking New Jersey and I'm on my way to hating it. Which is why Kris and I are working on getting the house ready to sell next year and move back down to Arkansas, where hopefully there are still enough natives who were raised with manners and general respect of their fellow human beings.
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